How to handle a blind date


Your friend swears this guy would be perfect for you. Should you chance it? Not before you check out the advice on how to handle a blind date from professional matchmaker Janis Spindel.

How to handle a blind date
  • Above all, remember that you are a fun person, and you can have fun in any situation.
  • If possible, have lunch or weekend brunch rather than a more formal dinner -- it enables you both to be more relaxed and enjoy each other's company. Attire can also be a less formal and jeans make it easy to go for a walk after lunch if the weather cooperates.
  • Try to keep your expectations under control to avoid big disappointments with the looks, weight, hairline and other physical attributes of your date. Concentrate on getting to your date's personality, intellect and interests. Attraction will grow over time!
  • Dress up a little, even if the date is casual. Take this seriously and look your best. Don't wear too much make-up, but do wear enough to bring out your natural attractiveness. Blow out your hair. Janis swears men prefer this style -- rather than curly -- and will fantasize about running their hands through your hair at some later point in your relationship.
  • If you are disappointed with everything about your date, try not to show it. Don't be brutal. It's only a lunch, and you never know where it might lead, or who he might know that you'd be interested in dating, or vice versa.
  • If you like your date at all, go on at least three dates before you decide whether to end the acquaintance. Chemistry grows, and you may need time to nurture it.
  • Kissing? If it's natural and comfortable, a romantic kiss at the end of the third date is appropriate. (Janis' rule)

LISA:  I'm Lisa Birnbach for The two most dreaded words in a single girl's life: blind date. Ugh. But listen up, Janis Spindel is a professional matchmaker and thus, a professional blind date organizer. Hi Janis.

JANIS: Hi Lisa. 

LISA:  A blind date isn't the worst thing in the world is it? 

JANIS:  Not mine.

LISA: Well how do you make it as bearable and short as possible if it's not going too well?

JANIS:  Have fun. Have fun.

LISA:  Well what if you're not having fun?

JANIS:  No such thing. If you're a fun person, have fun.

LISA:  Should you make a blind date not a dinner date?

JANIS:  Well sometimes you might not have a choice because of people's work, situations, schedules, restrictions. If you can I always think lunch is phenomenal. I think brunch is great especially on the weekend because then you can really do jeans and a guy can see what you're wearing during the day. If it's nice out then you take a walk. 

LISA:  What if the blind date's looks just don't match up with what you imagined?

JANIS:  Don't have such high expectations. He might have a great personality. He might be intellectually phenomenal. His looks will grow big time.

LISA:  Should we be totally concerned with what we're wearing on a blind date?

JANIS:  Absolutely.

LISA:  Even if it's Sunday brunch. What should we do about our hair and our makeup?

JANIS:  Well don't wear too much makeup if it's a Sunday brunch. And I always tell women on a first date, their hair should be blown out. 

LISA:  You do?

JANIS:  Absolutely. 100%. Men like hair that's straight. They don't like curly hair. They like to be able to put their hands through it. 

LISA:  On a first date?

JANIS:  No, that's in their minds.

LISA:  Uh-huh.

JANIS:  And I suggest that women get their hair blown out or blow it out themselves for a first date. 

LISA:  What if you're afraid your face is registering the disappointment of Ah! He's not what I thought; he's really pudgy; he's really pimply; he's really hairless.

JANIS:  Take acting lessons. Fake it. 

LISA:  Should you practice in front of a mirror, seriously?

JANIS:  No, I think in today's day and age, if you've been dating and you've been out there for a long time, I think you basically have it together of what to do. You know look I tell people it can't be brutal, it can't be, depending on--

LISA:  It's just a date, come on, how bad could it be!

JANIS:  It's two hours and you just never know who that person's gong to know for you and he doesn't know who you might know for him. Somebody's ex could be your next; somebody's trash could be your treasure. Be a nice person on a blind date. It's a human being.

LISA:  Now if there is no chemistry, but he's still a nice guy, do you want us to let him down easily and then try to--

JANIS:  No I want you to go out again.

LISA:  You do.

JANIS:  Absolutely, three strikes and he's out. 

LISA:  Okay.

JANIS: Chemistry grows sometimes. 

LISA:  And are you kissing him?


LISA:  Are you kissing him at the end of the third date?

JANIS:  Depends. If it's natural, comfortable and there's chemistry, go for it. 

LISA: Mouth open or mouth closed?

JANIS:  Depends. Nobody saying to make out, but have a passionate, romantic kiss. 

LISA:  If you can have a passionate, romantic kiss that tells you that there's probably something there. 

JANIS:  Correct.

LISA:  Thank you Janis.

JANIS:  You're welcome. 

LISA:  For I'm Lisa Birnbach. 


meet theexpert
  • Janis Spindel

    Janis Spindel Founder, Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking, Inc. Janis Spindel, a former fashion executive, is the president and founder of Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking, Inc., Janis specializes in pairing up highly successful, well-educated, attractive professionals, including public figures and celebrities. more about this expert »

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