How to maintain passion in a long-term relationship

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A little curiosity about your partner and a surprise once in a while may be what you need to add sizzle to a long-term relationship. Personal strategist Charly Emery shares three tips for keep the passion alive.

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  • Charly Emery

    Charly Emery Personal Strategist Charly, a trauma survivor, helps women recycle their experiences into tools that propel them forward in their lives. Her book is hailed by readers as the bible of relationships, and she is a frequent contributor on television, in print and across the web. more about this expert »

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Transcript Ladies, here are three tips for keeping the sizzle in your relationship. Now you know, lots of times with primary relationships all that stuff starts to go out the window, but I am telling you it doesn’t have to so here they are. Number one, be curious. Don’t think that you know him just because you live with him and you’ve been married for years perhaps. It doesn’t matter how long you are with someone; we are changing every single day. Retain your curiosity. Be curious about what else there is to learn and it will keep a level of excitement and create an environment in which he knows that he can continue to grow as well. Number two key would be listen, and I don’t just mean with your ears, I mean with every part of you. You ever go into a party or a barbeque and you arrive late you find yourself hesitating and just getting a feel for what’s going on and where the conversation is at. Why not do the same thing every day in your relationship? In those moments when you are sitting down and you are having dinner listen with your whole heart and soul. If he is having a tough day; if you are having a tough day you lead by example and the more that you listen, the more that you learn about him but at the same time, the more you listen to him the more you will find him start listening to you. And what’s the third key to keep the sizzle in your relationship – surprise him. Maybe there’s a time where, I know if you have kids it gets a little bit busy but you know what, what if maybe you say, “You know what honey, we are going to do breakfast in bed later after we put the kids to bed.” If it’s one of those days where it’s just really, really long, surprise him; do something a little different. Just don’t allow yourself to stay in a routine day after day after day. You won’t believe how much he will actually respond to that and how good it will make you feel too.

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