How to deal with a spouse's emotions after breast cancer

• Keeping an open line of communication with your spouse is important.

• Discuss your shared fears.

• Talk about how you will both handle any problems or disruptions that may arise.

• Mortality is likely the biggest fear in everyone’s mind, but so is the fear of how the loss of a breast and the side effects of treatment might affect the spouse’s feelings toward the patient.

• Spouses can seek a consultation with the oncologist to help work out any of their fears as well as how to communicate their concerns.

• The couples who do best through cancer treatment are effective communicators. Some coaching on communication from an oncologist or a counselor can be very helpful

• Showing affection is also important. Touching, hugging and caressing are all very important aspects of affection. Women may feel less desirable sexually, but still need affection from a spouse.

• Dr. Massie suggests reading Breast Cancer Husband: How to Help Your Wife (and Yourself) through Diagnosis, Treatment and Beyond by Marc Silver, which addresses the needs and roles of a spouse when a couple is battling breast cancer together.

For more information go to www.komen.org or call Komen for the Cure’s helpline at 1-800-IM AWARE.