How to tip correctly

Restaurants

• 15% in restaurants is no longer the rule of thumb. Particularly in large cities, it is perceived as a little cheap. 15% to 20% communicates that you received good service.

• 10% to 15% says you were not happy with the service. In these cases, you might want to take the manager aside and alert him/her to your dissatisfaction. Also remember that service is frequently a team effort. Don't penalize just one member — usually the server — for problems that were the responsibility of other team members.

Bars

• $1 per drink. If it's an open bar, you might want to consider $2 for the first drink to ensure that you get better service for the rest of the evening.

Hair Salons

• 18% to 20%. If there are multiple people who provide service, it's okay to give the overall tip to just the central person. If there's just one other person — someone who washes you hair, for example, give them a couple of dollars.

• There is an unwritten rule that you don't tip owners of salons. However, if you can afford it, it's a good idea to tip, as this will ensure that you get great service the next time.

Moving Men/Heavy Labor Workers

• $20 to $30 for the foreman.

• $15 to $20 for each worker (Make sure you give the cash directly to each worker, otherwise the foreman may pocket the tips you intended for the workers).

Bathroom Attendant

• $1 to $2. If you don't bring you purse to the bathroom, it is good etiquette to return later and leave a tip in the jar.

KATRINA: Hi, I’m Katrina Szish for howdini.com. One of the most difficult things to figure out — but one of the most important things when you’re going out — is how to tip, whom to tip and how much to tip. We’re talking to Melissa Kirsch, the author of The Girl’s Guide to Absolutely Everything, and she has all the answers. Thanks for joining us.

MELISSA: Thanks for having me.

KATRINA: Is that 15 percent at a dinner rule, or at a restaurant rule, does that still hold true?

MELISSA: No, it really doesn’t, especially in larger cities; anything around 17 to 20 percent says, “This was good service.” Fifteen percent, like it or not, is considered a little cheap now.

KATRINA: What about in a bar when you’re sitting there, someone basically pours you a drink and turns around, puts it in front of you — does that 17 to 20 percent rule still hold true?

MELISSA: No, it’s about a dollar a drink. Try to do that. If you’re at an open bar, however, tipping two dollars for the first drink will help you perhaps to get better service.

KATRINA: Aha, very good point. What about something like going to the hair salon. That one always gets me, because you are tipping the person who is doing the primary work on your hair, then there’s the shampooing person, there’s a blow-dry person and then there’s the person who brings you your water or your coffee. When do you stop?

MELISSA: Plan on 18 to 20 percent. You have to figure it into the cost of the cut and color and everything else that you are getting done. So if you went in expecting to pay $150 total, tack on $30 to that.

KATRINA: Now is that $30 for the primary person who’s doing your hair, or are you dicing up that $30 between all of those people who’ve done everything from blowing out your hair to washing your hair?

MELISSA: You know, a couple dollars to the person who washed your hair is usually a good idea. If there are a lot of people working on you, go to the central person and give them the sum total of the tip and expect that they will give it to the people who are working with them.

KATRINA: What if the hairdresser is also the owner of the salon, isn’t there an unwritten rule that you shouldn’t tip the owner?

MELISSA: Exactly, there is an unwritten rule that you shouldn’t tip the owner. But you can be sure that a lot of people are. So if you can afford it, why not tip the owner because you want to be sure you get a good cut next time.

KATRINA: OK, moving away from hair, talking about heavy labor. Moving. It’s an expensive thing to do, it requires a lot of work and you definitely need help. You are already paying a big fee to those movers, how do you determine what type of tip to give them?

MELISSA: Plan on $20 or $30 for the foreman of the moving group and $15 to $20 for each of the movers. Now make sure to hand the cash to each mover specifically, because if you just give it to the foreman, you can’t be sure that the one who really took his time with your heirloom furniture is actually going to get the cash.

KATRINA: What if you’re in a restaurant, or what if you’re at a salon or somewhere where the service is absolutely terrible? Is it ever OK to leave without giving a tip at all? And if you do, should you tell the owner or the manager that the service was so bad and therefore you are not leaving a tip?

MELISSA: People are of many minds on this; people in the restaurant industry will tell you that it’s a team working on this and not to take it out on the server. If it was specifically the server who was really terrible, use your discretion. But usually 10 to 15 percent says, “I was not happy with my service.” If this is some place where you feel you want to come back and you want the owner to know, you might take a manager aside and say in the most gracious way possible that you were really not pleased with the service you received.

KATRINA: What about a bathroom attendant?

MELISSA: One to two dollars is great in the little basket for the bathroom attendant. Now, frequently you might go to the bathroom without your wallet. If you remember, it’s nice to go back and put a couple dollars in the basket for the bathroom attendant.

KATRINA: Excellent advice. Thank you so much, Melissa.