How to increase sexual desire in a long relationship

It's hard to fake sexual desire, but you can jump start it. Most couples in long term relationships find themselves looking for ways to increase their sex drive and desire for each other at some point.

• Most of us think it’s the woman who has the loss of sex drive, but that’s a stereotype. Men have a lot of pressure, both at work and at home, and that can result in an under active lilbido.

• The most important thing is to create a really nice atmosphere where you can relax and have a special time.

• You need a transition period. If you have a date night, the evening should culminate in sex. If you ‘re not on a date, but staying home, take a hot bath or shower, set the mood, with candles, lingerie, perfume. It’s really important that couples do it. If you have little kids at home, they should be in bed at a certain time.

• Often the kids go to bed and the two partners each hit their own computers. You have to have together time. And you can have a lock on the bedroom door, and make sure the kids are taught to knock when the door is closed.

• Self-esteem and sexual desire go hand-in-hand. You have to take care of yourself physically so you feel good about yourself. Then you’ll feel desirable. A new exercise program, talking with a nutritionist, taking off a few pounds, being active and getting enough sleep will all help increase your sex drive.

• Couples need to be really honest with each other about what you find desirable. If you’ve been together a long time your desires will evolve, too. Maybe you want erotica or sex toys.

• As far as maintaining desire as your partner grows older, and begins to look older, you can try to age gracefully together. Really work on keeping each other feel young and healthy.