How to plan a destination wedding

Destination weddings have become a popular way to get away with family and friends for your special day. But be prepared to carefully choose your guests and keep an eye on your budget—destination weddings are not necessarily a less-expensive alternative to a wedding in your home town.

• Jamaica, Italy and Mexico are popular places for destination weddings.

• Destination weddings can help cut down the number of people.

• A destination wedding can create an instant ‘community’ of people who have all come together to celebrate your day. But if it’s not a group of close friends and family they may not want to spend that much time together.

• Be conscious of the people you are inviting and if they can afford to attend, as invitees have to buy dresses/suits, airline tickets and gifts. Plus they need to take time of work.

• Allow your guests both planned activities and free time for the duration of your stay.

• Destination weddings are expensive—be prepared.  Have family members host receptions, dinners or brunches to help with costs.

• Hotels will only provide discounts on rooms if the wedding is held during the off-season.

LISA: I'm Lisa Birnbach for howdini.com and we are talking about destination weddings with wedding planner, event planner, eventiste, and author Marcy Blum. Hi Marcy.

MARCY: Hi.

LISA: What are the most popular destinations for a wedding these days? 

MARCY: Well Jamaica, Italy, Mexico...has become very popular in the last couple of years. 

LISA: Why are people doing it? Is it to keep the numbers down for their wedding?

MARCY: That was the original intent, but I think now, I've have clients have destination weddings for 200, 250 people. I think everyone is looking to do something different. The loveliest part of a destination wedding is creating this community for four days, five days, sometimes seven days. The downside is if it's not a close group of friends and family, they may not want to spend four or five days with people they don't know.

LISA: Is it sort of like inviting your best friends and family to be part of the honeymoon too because you don't go away right after a destination wedding or do you?

MARCY: Well it depends, I mean, Sandals, which I worked for for quite a long time--I helped them invent the "weddingmoon"--that was the whole concept. They--you had your wedding and then you stayed there, or you went to another one of the hotels and your guests stayed in the first one and you left which worked out really well. 

LISA: Is it nervy to have a destination wedding and expect a lot of people to come or is a generous act on the part of a couple? 

MARCY: It's a lot to ask of your friends. It's a dress and a plane ticket and a gift and a gift probably for an engagement party and/or a shower beforehand. And dresses for several, or suits or whatever, for several events plus the time off from work. So--or from school. It's very--it's a lot to ask someone who may not be in the same social strata you are at the moment. I'm very careful with my clients who are asking for this and I know other colleagues of mine feel the same way, to really sit down and go through the guest list and say can these people, first of all can they afford it? So are they going to be happy spending five days in this little community you're building?

LISA: And do you as the wedding planner have to plan five days worth of activities if it's a destination wedding like that?

MARCY: Very much so.

LISA: Whoa. So what does that involve?

MARCY: Some people over-plan it. I think if it's your vacation time you would like to have some free time. I always so okay let's not have a tennis tournament between, you know, breakfast and the blow outs. Let's see if we can let people--they need some downtime as well.

LISA: How do you keep costs down if you're doing a destination wedding and you as the bride feel you have to pay for most everything?

MARCY: A destination wedding like a tent wedding is a very expensive proposition and people who are doing it because they think they will save money are misinformed. The other possibility which I've seen work out very well is you, your parents, or you and the groom's family and your parents--because now a whole bunch of people pay for the wedding--host the reception. And your great aunt host the rehearsal dinner and somebody else host the next day brunch. It works out that way as well.

LISA: So you're not asking your guests to pay for every meal at the hotel--

MARCY: Exactly. Nor are you and your family paying for four days worth of events. 

LISA: If you're hosting a destination wedding, can you get a break in the price of the hotel if you're booking forty rooms or more?

MARCY: If you're booking forty rooms off-season. If you're booking during hurricane season for example, they're going to be very, very helpful. If you're booking it during their high time, why should they give us a break when they could sell out completely, no problem, at full price.

LISA: Right, so they won't?

MARCY: They won't.

LISA: Thank you so much I hope somebody invites me to one of these. For howdini.com I'm Lisa Birnbach.