How to talk to your boss

• Timing is everything. Don’t catch your boss off-guard when she’s going on vacation for the weekend, or it’s five o’clock on a Friday. And, schedule enough time so you can make your points without rushing.

• Have your goals in mind. Make your case and try to keep it focused on your goal.

• If your boss rejects your request, remember that you can put the conversation on hold and revisit at a later time. 

• Avoid seeming like a nag or a whiner by staying professional and in control. Remember that you are entitled to time with your boss to discuss your job and ask for what you need or want. Even if your boss says no, it is (or should be) part of his or her job to keep you happy as an employee.

KATRINA: Hi I’m Katrina Szish with howdini.com. It’s never easy sitting down with your boss for a serious conversation, but it doesn’t have to be that stressful. Joining us to explain how to do it is Melissa Kirsch, the author of The Girl's Guide To Absolutely Everything. Thanks for joining us Melissa.

MELISSA: Thanks for having me.

KATRINA: When you’re going down to have that all-important discussion with your boss about a raise, about a vacation, about a promotion, what’s the first thing you should do?

MELISSA: Make an appointment. Don’t catch your boss off-guard when she’s going on vacation for the weekend, it’s five o’clock on a Friday. Make an appointment so you have enough time to make your points.

KATRINA:  Timing is everything.

MELISSA: It is.

KATRINA: Now what’s next? Should you go in with a typed up list of things to talk about?

MELISSA: It’s not so much making a list, but knowing what your goals are. Go in prepared knowing that if you want shorter hours you’re going to end on getting shorter hours. If you want a pay raise, go in for a pay raise.

KATRINA: Now how do you keep your cool if your boss says no? Looks at you funny, starts laughing, says you don’t deserve this?

MELISSA: Remember that you can always put this conversation on pause. You can say, ‘okay thank you. Let’s take this up again at a later date.’ You can always say, ‘okay I thought I’d ask, and when can we revisit this topic.’ So therefore you keep the conversation going. Even though this particular part of the conversation is over you can always come back at a later date and ask for what you want.

KATRINA: How do you be assertive and get what you want without seeming like a whiner or a nag?

MELISSA: Just keeping in control. Breathe. Remember that you’re entitled to ask for whatever you want. You’re entitled to go in and sit down and talk to your boss. And your boss’s number one priority is making sure that you’re happy. Or it should be. You’re entitled to this.

KATRINA: Okay Melissa Kirsch thanks for the great advice on talking to your boss.