Yesterday as I was rushing to a doctor’s appointment, a man approached me just in front of the subway entrance.

“Excuse me, madam,” he said, “may I ask you a question without appearing to be rude or offensive?”

The man was in worn out jeans, a long sleeve plaid button down shirt, and sandals with socks. He had about seven teeth. His hair looked as if it hadn’t been combed in a year that begins with a “2”. He had a dirty messenger bag draped diagonally across his torso. But it was an awfully intriguing question. I stopped for just a moment to consider whether to hear him out.

On the one hand, I really did want to know what he was going to ask.  On the other hand,  I couldn’t read anything except confusion in his face, and as curious as I instantly was, I didn’t stop and engage him. I had the hunch it would not be a quick conversation.

So I said, “Sorry. I’m just really late,” and I breezed past him.

But all day long I wondered what he wanted to ask me.

“Madam, do you realize your roots need touching up?”

or perhaps

“Do you think you could stand to use a bra with better support?”

Something, in other words, that was both rude and offensive. And embarrassing.

One time a homeless guy said to me, “Hey lady, cute dog,” and when I smiled at him and then beamed proudly in the direction of my spaniel, he added, “did you know he’s got a pizza crust in his mouth?”

Sure enough, Chester had the crust from an entire slice of pizza clamped firmly between his jaws. He must have retrieved it from the sidewalk, as if it were a pheasant or a duck, and was proudly bringing it home.

Here’s one thing I know the Guy with the Question was not going to ask me:

“When will you ever be able to use self-tanning lotion without it streaking around your ankles and knees?”

And that is because, this week, for the first time ever, I did use self-tanning lotion on my legs without streaking. How did I accomplish this miracle (for me)?

I had help from Howdini’s dermatologist/guru, Dr. Doris Day. She came by recently to show us how to put on sunless tanner without ending up all streaky and blotchy.

Watch it HERE.  It really works.

Hey, maybe the Question Guy just wanted to know how to get himself a guru.